it's just pure irony.. i really don't know what i'm looking for in you. i really don't know what should i do.. in order to make everyone of us happy. maybe i'm thinking too much. maybe i'm reading in too much. maybe it's just a process that i need to go through every single time. maybe every single thing is wrong, from the start of the year.. it's totally wrong.. issn't it??

and you, didn't know what's really causing my temper to be so down.. you didn't know. you just asuumed that it's all caused by you. yet, do you really know what you did? you don't. i presume. and yet, you are apologising when you doesn't even have a clear idea what you did. so.. what's the use of apologising then? just for me to see, and know that you apologised? i don't want that.. and i'm telling you now, at here.. your body langauges speaks all. if nothing's going between the two of you, why did you shun away when she's around? why did you do so? i couldn't think of any answer, or explanation for this. but still once again, it's my assumption.. my guess..

and you, they had accepted you as their friend, doesn't mean that i, myself or her, had did the same thing too. we allowed you to join us, doesn't mean anything. doesn't mean you have the right to attitude us, neither does it means that we have to looked at your bloody attitude and live with it. if you just want to do something, can't you just tell us straight? rather than going around the bush telling us what you want. it's so freaking obivious what you want to do. and stop defencing yourself and getting angry when people said something like that. if it's not true, do something and show everyone out there what is the fact. but the whole thing is, you are doing it in the wrong way. and i, hate you for that.

and you, i'm so freaking tired about the whole thing. i'm tired. i'm not a robot, i'm a human. a person who feels tired too. a person who knows what is hurt.. i really do. so stop thinking that i'm a fool.. just because i laughed, just because i smiled, it doesn't mean that i don't know what is sad, what is cry. i know all that. and i experience it too.. so why am i being such a fool, smiling when i don't even feel like, and laughing when i feel like resting? because i know, there's a few special ones, who will be upset, when i'm upset. who will be worried, when i don't smile. and the special one is someone who treats me like their precious one, who loves me and cares for me like almost anything. and one of them is yeegin. she's the best. she knows when i'm troubled, even when i smiled. she knows when i'm really happy... she knows everything.... but i still wants you to know this, i never dislike you before. i never did. i had always love you that much. and now, it's still the same...

我几时真正微笑，只有她真心知道。如果微笑能让你认为我开心，为什么不可以？