going to type this whole post in proper english.

again.
the emotional days are here.
getting used to it.
i couldnt believe.
such small thing that i dont matter before.
keep bugging me.
i'm like a kiddy,
waiting for her sweet.
and once she got it,
she will be in cloud nine.
just a simple thing from you
could make me go wild.
can you believe it?
i dont.
but slowly,
i got myself listening
to the abandon feeling lying there,
which had been screaming for attention,
few months ago.
it told me,
you meant that much.
i guess,
that is the answer i had been fearing of.
to know.
to understand.
and to believe.
never.
i never wanted to make myself dependant on you.
i never do.
as i know that the fateful day would come,
and bring you away.
what should i do then?
i constantly asked myself
i dont want to go through,
the tormenting days.
that i had suffered before.
you left me once,
and i knew,
how much it hurts.
but now,
what should i do?
living in fear.
and insecurity.
that's not me.
i know it.
i want myself back.
give me back.
can you?
the promise you made.
or to you,
is just a word
to scram me off?
tell me.
if i'm a irritant.
tell me.
if i had to leave.
i will do it
really.
believe me.
i'm feeling so out of place.
like a jigsaw puzzle,
unable to fit into your perfect picture.
i seems to be not the one
to belong in your life.
your world.
am i right?
or tell me i'm wrong.
i cant continue the race,
with an injured heart.
neither can i run that fast,
for the fear of falling again.
but yet,
the ending line,
seems to be waving at me
urging me to go on
makig me believe
i can do it.
however,
when i started increasing my speed,
the ending line seems to disappear from my sight
i'm exhausted.
i'm tired.
let me had a break first.
your speed is too fast for me.
i seems to be fated not to chase up with you.
never.
let me out of the game.
if i will lose.
i'm a weakling.
i dont want to try.
if the result is not what i want.

you just had the ability, to make me smile. and frown.
<3. tell me how you feel. please.