maybe when life gets a little tougher, people will then realise how wonderful it had always been.
maybe when everything comes down in a thunderstorm, people will then learn how to hold on and fight against everything.
maybe when relationships between people varies every second, people will then understand how to treasure every single second.
maybe if i learn the skill of apologising, everything would take a big turn about.
maybe life is meant to be like this for me to learn something within.

yet, how long can everything goes with that facade threatening to fall off any single moment.
there would always be light at the end of the tunnel. how long would that tunnel be? where would i be lead to?

nothing is going to affect my studies, at least not now.
i'm so going to work hard and get my deserved grades.
i dont want to disappoint anyone. not those who trust me and believe i can achieve my target.

i'm trying. so if i failed on the journey out, dont blame me.
if i really had the intention of backing out half-way through, will you stop me?
or maybe, i'm trying far too hard to the very extent that i'm actually feeling the tiredness emanating through me.
trying to be the perfect one or at least to the perfection i know i could achieve.
am i asking too much of myself and my life?
maybe i hated imperfection.
or should i say, intended imperfection.

i'm tired.
i want a big rest from everything.
i want to go to the beach again and feel the breeze sweeping pass me.
can i just spent one day staring blankly and doing nothing?
can i just... lie on the bed and think of nothing.

alright. i dont know what had gotten into me.
i dont think this whole post make sense.
i'm tired.
physically and mentally.
let me rest before i wake up and put the facade on again.

i understand everything had to go on. because everyone trust that i could do it. everyone believes that i'm always that strong and happy. everyone wants me to smile infront of them. because sub-consciously, i need to protect myself. because even you had robbed me of the chance to be weak.